Monday, November 11, 2019

EPILOG AND LAST THOUGHTS

Monday, June 9, 2008


THE SUN WAS RISING, WHEN I DROVE FROM THE AIRPORT TO MY HOME IN GAVEA. THE FAMILIAR URBAN LANDSCAPE WAS BATHED IN A WARM GLOW.

When I got into the plane in Paris I fell asleep almost immediately after the 11.15 PM departure. When I woke up, surprisingly refreshed, it was dark around me and everybody was asleep or shifting resignedly in their seats. The time was 12.30 AM Brazilian time - 5 hours flight time left. I got my computer out and finished my last entries, feeling very content working all alone there in the dark. I was wondering why it had been so special to write down all these experiences. For one thing, I hadn’t written anything in a long time, so just to feel the rush of words waiting to come out was very pleasing, but also, I think it has to do with aging and values. It so happened that  “Shine a light” - the Martin Scorcese documentary was showing on the television screen in front of me. The Stones were giving a concert in NY and it was amazing to see their energy and complicity throughout the long show. They are well into their sixties, and, although wrinkled and skinny, they have youthful expressions and seem to thoroughly enjoy playing together and being on stage. They don’t have to do this any more, but possibly they continue to play because that is what makes them feel alive and happy. At least I would like to think so.
It had struck me during our trip that the most special moments are those that happen in an instant. One minute you’re having a wonderful experience, the next, it is over - like our balloon ride. One way to hold on to the shadow of that memory is to write it down - and thus the writer become a collector of happy, sad, or significant moments. 
The thought stayed with me for a long time as I drove home through the light of the rising sun, which made the normally ugly and violent urban landscape seem fresh and calm: thrill or happiness is evanescent, and all we can do is to find it around us and commit it to memory.

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